Without wishing to give the impression that I'm spending all my time carousing with London's homeless community, I've just met an entertaining fellow on Turnham Green. Some of his words of wisdom:
"Today's not yesterday, and yesterday's not today, that's all you need to know"
"So I said to him, excuse me sir, can I marry your daughters."
"I have a short memory. It's good to have a short memory, 'cos that means you never forget"
I think I impressed him - he said to me: "I like you, you're a sarcastic bastard."
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