There's a hooker on my doorstep

Well, not really. But there was a hookah on my doorstep when I left the house this morning.

My neighbours seem to be having an interesting little skirmish these days; this is what I believe to be happening, judging by the positioning of cars and other items.

New people moved into the upstairs flat next door, and the guy, Woody*, started parking his car in the driveway, as there is enough room for two cars. But I think the driveway is owned by the woman from the downstairs flat, Cass**, so she has started parking her car sideways to prevent Woody from getting his car in.

Now Woody has started clearing junk out of his house (including a hookah), carefully placing some of it in front of Cass's car, boxing her car in.

I expect that Antonio*** (who lives downstairs from me) will get involved soon. He normally parks his second car on the grassy bit in his own front garden, but to access this space he needs to go via Cass's driveway. With Cass's car now parked sideways, Antonio can't reach his second parking spot, so he has to park his sports car on the road, which he can't be happy about. I'm looking forward to the next chapter when I get home tonight.


*I don't know his name, but I'm calling him Woody as he looks a bit like Woody Harrelson.
**I don't know her name, but I'm calling her Cass as she looks a bit like an Asian version of Mama Cass from The Mamas and The Papas.
***I'm calling him Antonio because that's his name. But for reference he looks a bit like the actor Vin Diesel.

Cooking it by strong fire

I cooked some Taiwanese noodles last night. Very nice they were too, thanks to the cooking instructions from the packet:

1. Put noodles into boiling water.
2. After 2-3 minutes (at first, cook it by strong fire for two minutes then cook it by moderate fire little by little) please stir it by chopsticks.
3. The lustrous, bright, soft and nutrient noodles should be poured by cold water after it is recovered from water.
4. The making method is unique and needs short time for cooking. The noodles can be cooked, souted and scalded. It can be cooked into delicious noodles according to your taste.

They don't fool me

That wasn't Simon Whitlock in the World Darts Final - it was Brett Lee with a comedy beard and ponytail.

 


And he must be gutted that he was beaten by Dennis Pennis.

 

Surprising question

I phoned up the customer helpline of a bookmaker today, and the woman asked me a rather surprising question:

"Which animal broke your nose?"