Reasons to be cheerful

Just been listening to some CDs and I've decided that the greatest lyrical genius of the 20th century wasn't Dylan or Gershwin or Half Man Half Biscuit, it was clearly Ian Dury. And the music's dead funky too.
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"Van Gogh did some eyeball pleasers.
He must have been a pencil squeezer.
He didn't do the Mona Lisa,
That was an Italian geezer.

Einstein can't be classed as witless.
He claimed atoms were the littlest.
When you did a bit of splittingness,
Frighten everybody shitless.

There ain't 'alf been some clever bastards (Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)"
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"Sex and drugs and rock and roll is very good indeed"
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"Just cos I ain't never 'ad no nothing worth 'aving never ever never... ever.
You ain't got no call not to think I wouldn't fall into thinking that I ain't too... clever.
And it ain't not 'aving one thing nor not another either neither is it anythink... whatever.
And it's not not knowing that there ain't nothing showing and I answer to the name of Trevor... however,
Knock me down with a feather, clever Trevor"
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"40 year old housewife Mrs Elizabeth Walker of Lambeth Walk,
Had a husband who was jubblified with only half a stalk,
So she had a milk of magnesia and curry powder sandwich and half a pound of uncut pork,
Took an overdose of Omo, this made the neighbours talk"

Let's all shout at nutters II

Keith Allen was the latest British journalist to lose his rag in the face of religious fundamentalism, when he interviewed the Westboro Baptist Church.

Q: When you engage in that despicable act...
A: You're just chicken shit
Q: Why don't you jump in the graves with the dead soldiers and cut their heads off and shit in their faces?
A: I may do that some day

Next documentary, coming soon : "Gordon Ramsay meets the Taleban" (in which Gordon blows his top when they refuse to eat his pork cider casserole).

Complete bollards

Picture taken by my niece Tasha at her school the other day.

Balloon monkey darts

Just what the internet was crying out for - a balloon-popping darts monkey game. Click on the monkey..