The original Barmy Army

Good to see the mighty Aldershot promoted back to the football league for next season, 16 years after they went bankrupt.

Whereas most deluded football fans make ludicrous claims such as "We're by far the greatest team the world has ever seen", I remember a chant from the Aldershot fans which was far more realistic:

"We're the pride of North Hampshire"

Eat that, Farnborough and Basingstoke.

The politics of pop

Who says pop music and politics don't mix? Perhaps Madonna should be running for mayor.


Madonna: "I would make it so that musicians - young musicians, aspiring musicians - wouldn't have to pay the London congestion charge. Or pay taxes. They would be exempt from those things; so they have more money for other things".

Girls Aloud's Cheryl Cole: "There should be adverts in the breaks during Coronation Street spelling it out in bullet points: this is what the Conservatives stand for, this is what Labour stands for".

Girls Aloud's Nicola Roberts: "I know there are programmes on late at night, aren't there, when they have like debates and stuff. But young people are not going to sit there and choose to watch them. It's boring."

Eric Clapton: "Vote for Enoch Powell... I think Enoch's right, I think we should send them all back. Stop Britain from becoming a black colony. Get the foreigners out. Get the wogs out. Get the coons out. Keep Britain white."

Geri Halliwell: "Margaret Thatcher was the first Spice Girl, the pioneer of our ideology."

George Michael: "I am definitely not anti-American. How could I be? I have been in love with a Texan [Kenny Goss] for six years and we are still going strong. My feelings about George Bush, however, are a little different. And I know I'm not alone in fearing his politics."

Snoop Dogg: "The KKK gave Obama money... They was one of his biggest supporters... The media won't tell you that. They don't want you to know that. They just want you to know that this nigger befriended this other nigger who be threatening your values. But we all know all presidents lie to get into fucking office. That's they job."

Members of Blue speaking in interview in the aftermath of 9/11...
Lee: "What about whales? They are ignoring animals that are more important. Animals need saving and that's more important. This New York thing is being blown out of proportion."
Simon: "Shut up Lee".
Lee: "Who gives a fuck about New York when elephants are being killed".
Duncan: "Shut up".
Lee: "I'm not afraid to say this, it has to be said and that's why I'm the outspoken one from the band".

And a last few snaps

Blyde River Canyon



Cape Town from the Table Mountain cable car. Fortunately there wasn't a power cut while we were up there.



Sharing a drink with the locals in Langa Township.



Nelson Mandela's cell on Robben island. Not dissimilar to some of the accommodation we stayed in.



Dumbo and his mother.



A yawning hippo. Almost as big as Marc's mouth.



Rhinos have very poor eyesight so our instructions were, if they come towards us, just stand still and they might not notice us. Easier said than done perhaps.





A wounded lioness. In the first picture you can see some porcupine spines in her stomach. Aaaah.



And finally, my attempt at some moving pictures. Move over Scorcese.

Some other ridiculous activities

Riding on the back of a big thick ostrich.



A big Irish lump riding an unsurprisingly reluctant horse.



Kayaking - not so ridiculous in itself, until you capsize and find yourself wading through thigh-high mud, losing your sandals in the process (the second of three pairs of footwear lost or discarded by me during the holiday).



Swinging from tree to tree in the Tsitsikamma forests.



Quad biking up a mountain towards the highest pub in Africa. This was the easy bit. The descent in a torrential hailstorm was a bit trickier.